Remember the days in school when a friend would get mad at another friend and say, "I'm not your friend anymore!"? Evidently, kids can be mean like that even at age four. We went to the mall play area today after doing a bit of shopping. When we arrived we saw one of Rebekah's old friends from preschool where Rebekah attended last year. Rebekah and this friend used to play a lot together, and when Rebekah saw her I encouraged her to go over and say hi. When Rebekah greeted her friend the girl told her she didn't want Rebekah to play with her and her friend. I sat on the bench nearby and heard the friend tell Rebekah that she could not get in the car with them. Rebekah started to cry. I went over to talk to them. Both girls told Rebekah that only they could play together as two friends. I asked Rebekah's old friend if she would be Rebekah's friend and she said no. After trying to coax her to no avail Rebekah began to cry again. I scooped up Rebekah and tried to console her. At that moment I felt like crying too. Those girls had rejected my daughter, my flesh and blood. It absolutely crushed me as much as it hurt Rebekah.
The dad finally came over and asked if the girls did anything to Rebekah. Evidently, this is a problem he is dealing with his daughter concerning other children as well. He tried to amend the situation, but I'm not sure if it helped much. Rebekah ran off to play after a while and later tried to approach the girls again. I don't think they were as rude, but Rebekah never felt like she was included, although she didn't get upset this last time either.
We have never had to deal with this sort of thing before, but I reminded Rebekah that whenever she has friends who treat her this way she can always come to me. I love her so much, and I don't want her to hurt this way. I know it happens; I just never imagined it would happen so soon.
On a happy note, while we were shopping Rebekah spotted a fairy costume that was on sale for 50% off. Rebekah rarely asks for anything and she wanted the costume so bad. She wanted it to play dress-up, so I got it for her. She has been so happy as a fairy this afternoon. She later came to tell me that she needed to eat some "fairy food".
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Rejection
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2 comments:
Aww man, we were at the mall today too! Too bad we missed you guys. We were at SR getting some new shoes, then to Dillards and TRU. We passed the playground but didn't go in; I was actually going to let Maggie build a bear in lieu of going to the playground (I don't know why, but I've never been crazy about that place), but she was content to just look at the bears and then leave -- she even specifically said she didn't want to make one.
I don't know what to say about the girls' exclusion of Rebekah. Seems way too early to have to be dealing with this!! It is heartbreaking though. I've felt similarly when Maggie was trying to talk to friends and they were obviously ignoring her. You want everyone to love your child as much as you do, and that includes paying attention to them and including them in all the fun.
Sorry we missed you at the mall. Maggie and Rebekah could have palled around and shown those girls what real fun is all about. ;-)
Aww, poor Rebekah. Unfortunately, it does start too early. Alayna dealt with a friend like that all through K and though that friend is over it now, there were many days when she would come home crying b/c her "friend" wouldn't talk to her or play with her. It was so hard to deal with. Rebekah has a wonderful mommy and daddy to help her deal with these unfortunate events. Hugs!
And adorable fairy costume! I've never seen one with such vibrant colors!
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