Moments Like These

It seems like sibling rivalry has been huge lately, but the last couple of days the kids have been getting along so much better. Now, they still have their spats, but I have been looking for moments when Rebekah treats Joshua really nicely and making a huge deal of it, and she is improving. We've also been working a lot through those difficult moments and she is learning how she should act when she wants something that belongs to her that Joshua has. She is really doing much better about asking him nicely, and today it paid off. Joshua usually just looks at Rebekah when she asks him nicely for something, and after a few moments he is glad to give in to her request. He really does want to share with her and play with her; he just doesn't want her to take it away from him. It's neat to see how much he really looks up to his big sis. He follows her and imitates her actions - sometimes to the point that it drives her nuts - but Rebekah really doesn't realize how much he does look up to her.

This morning while I was taking a shower I heard the two of them giggling. I peeked out the shower curtain to find them holding hands and dancing. Then after lunch Rebekah was drawing, writing, and coloring at the kitchen table, and Joshua came right up to her for some love and attention. It was so sweet how the two of them connected. I grabbed the camera and took some pics. I'm hoping to see more moments like this between the two of them.

Rebekah spent a great deal of the day writing, drawing, and coloring. She must have used 20 sheets of paper front and back just today! I am glad to say that she didn't watch any TV yesterday and very little today. I unintentionally kept the TV off yesterday and realized late in the day that it hadn't been on all day. While Rebekah and I were out last night Joshua did watch a little TV, and they watched a little tonight while I prepared dinner and a little after dinner, but that was the extent of it. I am going to try to limit the television more. I really like it this way! Maybe that is part of the reason the kids are being kinder to one another.

Anyway, Rebekah had a blast with the markers today! Good thing they are washable because Rebekah COLORED HERSELF!


This picture doesn't even show everything. The soles of her feet and palms of her hands were covered in various colors. By the way, she is pretending the markers are a wind instrument (or what she would call a flute).

And what was one of the things she created today?


Notice the sideways heart. I'm thinking this may be Rebekah's first real crush. She used to say she was going to marry her best friend Brock from preschool last year. This year she has talked about Ben being her best friend and that she is going to marry him. Granted, their seats were next to one another all year, but their personalities seem to mesh well also. It's cute, but I also don't want to make too much a deal out of it either and encourage Rebekah. I'm sure Ben will be a longtime friend, though, since his family attends the same church as we do.

Earlier I mentioned that Joshua really watches Rebekah and imitates her. Well, he is right behind his Daddy too. Every time Darrin is working on something mechanical Joshua is closely watching him. Darrin's mower has been having problems, and when he has been tinkering with it trying to discover the problem and correct it Joshua has been checking it all out. He wanted to be outside the whole time while Darrin mowed the yard this evening, but he also wanted to keep some distance. He is so curious but cautious. Once Darrin finished the front yard he turned off the blades and gave Joshua a little ride. I had to grab my camera for this one! Joshua immediately took a ride, but he wasn't too sure during the ride. I'm sure it won't be long before he's helping his dad, though.


This weekend we are heading to south Georgia to visit my sister Carrie and her family. I finally get to meet my new niece Katelyn! Rebekah is really looking forward to the visit as well. It will be fun for the kids to play together as well as for us adults to have some time to spend with one another. I'm sure I'll be taking lots of pictures, so I'll try to post from there. Until then, wishing you a fun Memorial Day weekend!

A New Day

After such a trying day yesterday today was so much better. Rebekah finally came around and was willing to apologize to Ms. Amy for her behavior on Tuesday at preschool. I had some paperwork to take out to the school, so we made the trip this morning, Rebekah gave her apology, and Ms. Amy and I discussed Rebekah's behavior both at home and at school. We stayed a few minutes while I got the paperwork together to turn in to the school and Ms. Amy got my handprint for a Mother's Day craft. I thought Rebekah would want to play with her friends, but she hung around me the whole time. Joshua, on the other hand, played and didn't want to leave! Rebekah said bye to her teacher and classmates as we headed out the door.

The whole morning Rebekah was very low key. She stayed in her room a lot of the day just having time to herself. She opted not to eat her lunch, but she didn't put up too much fuss. She was really well behaved most of the day, and she hardly got into a tiff with Joshua. All in all, it was a very good day. As a result, she got to attend her dance/gym class this afternoon.

The day continued to be a pretty good day. Rebekah still tested the boundaries a little, but she did not push as much as she had yesterday. Again, she had a lot of quiet time, some of which was just resting on the couch and watching some TV. She didn't want to eat supper with us, so I got her ready for bed, and she has gone to her room. Not quite ready to go to sleep, she is getting some more quiet time to relax and be alone.

Joshua has been a bit of a challenge, but not more than typical toddler behavior. He has just been more of a challenge than Rebekah today. However, overall it has been a pretty good day, and I'm so thankful! The Lord has been working in my heart as well as I seek His will in how I handle and discipline the children. He has been very gracious. Thanks for your prayers!

Calgon, Take Me Away!

I'm not sure if this is due to Rebekah's age or if this is a reflection of my parenting, but today has been the most challenging day as a parent for me. So much so that I opted to stay home with Darrin from choir practice tonight to help him with the kids. We have actually noticed Rebekah testing the boundaries more lately, but today takes the cake.

Now, the first incidence wasn't a test of boundaries, but what a way to start off our day! Rebekah was sweetly lying on the couch watching TV when I walked out of the kitchen and headed toward the bathroom to find her holding her scissors snipping away at her hair. Yes, she cut her hair! And quite a bit. At least it was all pretty much underneath, so it's not terribly noticeable, but it just doesn't look quite as full. She has one really short spot toward the top of her head that I'm constantly trying to cover up with other hair, but since it's curly it wants to stick out. She also has one small section that looks more like really long bangs, but again, it doesn't look terrible. I just won't be able to do bows much for a while I don't think unless I come up with a clever way of hiding the shorter hair.

The rest of the day has been extremely challenging in the way of discipline. Rebekah has always sought to challenge me in areas, such as getting in her car seat, obeying the first time, coming when called, getting dressed, etc. Priveleges have been taken away, spankings have been given for defiance, and lots of discussion about sin and the effects of it have taken place as well. Rebekah clearly can explain that what she does wrong is sin. However, she shows no remorse for her sin many times. I do not believe in making her apologize if she is not truly sorry, but I want to train her heart as well and I desire that she have a soft heart to do what is right and please the Lord. I also don't want to punish her for not being sorry because she doesn't need to learn to give an automatic response for something that she is not truly sorry about. Instead, I want her to have a moldable heart and to see her sin as something that grieves the Lord, that Christ died for her sin, and that we also should have the same attitude toward our own sin. It has been a very difficult lesson to teach.

This afternoon I went into Rebekah's room to find Joshua screaming and extremely upset. He was waving his arms through the toys having been very irritated. Rebekah was upset that Joshua was in her room, and she told me she spanked him. It took a good while to get both kids settled down, and they both even ended up in the biggest physical fight they had ever had. They were both playing tug-of-war over the toys and trying to hit one another. I was in the midst breaking a fight between my two children! I did separate them, and even at this moment some of this is a blur. There was one time I just carried Joshua around wishing I had an extra adult to deal with one child while I handled the other. It was that bad! Rebekah even got violent with me in defiance. She also locked both Joshua and me out of her room and pushed the door as hard as she could trying to keep me from opening it once I got it unlocked. At this point I knew I needed to do something drastic. Once I got the two children calmed down I put Joshua to the table to munch on a small snack until I could deal with Rebekah then serve lunch.

I pulled Rebekah up in my lap and we discussed what all had taken place in her room. She had recently built a house of Legos with her Daddy and Joshua had come in and destroyed it. She was understandably upset and spanked Joshua out of anger. Joshua got mad and was flailing his arms screaming when I entered the room. We had a good talk about it, what she should have done, and how she should handle these types of situations. I even told her about times when I was a little girl and would boss my sister around and treat her like I was her mother. However, I still had to deal with her own misbehaviors and her defiance toward me as well.

But this was not the end of the day. Rebekah did want some quiet time, and although she did not apologize for her actions I gave her time to herself while she sorted things out. She later apologized to me and to Joshua. Joshua was not very trusting of Rebekah and did not respond well to her, but he was afraid she was going to hurt him again.

Once Rebekah decided what kind of sandwich she wanted we had another test. She was unhappy with the crust - too dry maybe??? So, I pulled the crust off. Wailing...I WANT THE CRUST!!! I was not about to give her another sandwich. She could eat what was before her. Before I had realized it she had pushed her lunch back toward the middle of the table spilling milk on her plate and making part of her sandwich soggy. She would not eat it. So I wrapped it up and put it in the fridge. Off she went to her room to sort things out again. She finally returned later to apologize and eat her lunch. I did, however, replace the soggy bread. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did.

Things were quiet for a while, although later Rebekah tried to take a toy from Joshua while he was playing with it. It was not even a toy she plays with! Rebekah also constantly locked her door so that Joshua could not enter. However, she would not always unlock it for me when I knocked. This became very old, and I finally had Darrin turn the doorknob around so the lock is on the outside. Rebekah did not like this one bit.

We had a few more problems this evening as well. She grabbed her Disney Princess plate and would not let me put her taco on it. So, I got another plate and then she wanted me to move the taco onto her princess plate. She got upset when I wouldn't, so off she went to her room while we ate. She never ate her supper.

We also had a talk about her behavior at preschool as well. Tuesday she was constantly challenging her teacher, and a note was sent home. We had talked about it that afternoon, but I needed to reiterate things to her today. She did not act like she was sorry, and she even told me she didn't know if she was going to obey Ms. Amy tomorrow. While we were talking she mocked me and talked very disrespectfully. I even warned her that she would not go to preschool tomorrow if she talked like that again. Guess what happened? She is not going to preschool.

We did get Rebekah to bed earlier tonight, around 8:15-8:30, so I am hoping that this will help as well. We have suspected that she may not be getting enough sleep. However, that does not excuse her defiant behavior. Her dance/gym class is also on probation tomorrow afternoon. If she continues to act this way tomorrow she will not go. I have a few things to drop off at the preschool in the morning, so Rebekah will go with me and see her teacher and friends, but then she will go back home with me as well. I am praying and hoping she will apologize to Ms. Amy in the morning.

Please pray for me. I don't know if I am handling this all correctly. I really want Rebekah to have a soft heart for the Lord, and right now she just seems so hardened at times, although she is soft to learning the truth of God's Word. She is very moldable, but she is very strong-willed. Darrin is reading The Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson. We have learned many principles from Tedd and Paul Tripp, authors of Shepherding a Child's Heart and The Case for Kids, as well. Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman has also been recommended, and I've heard good things about it. I want to be a godly parent, and I love Rebekah so very much and desire for the Lord to work in her heart and to give her a heart for Him.

Another Teachable Moment

Lately Rebekah has been dealing with fear in her life. She was never afraid of thunderstorms as a toddler, and she would even chase bugs to the point that I thought she would try to eat them. Over the past few days Rebekah began to express fear of the dark, fear of bugs, and even over the last several months she has been terrified of dogs and cats. She didn't even want to play out in the yard because a few dogs run loose in our neighborhood. Last week Rebekah said she was scared of everything, and for a couple nights in a row she was getting up out of bed for various reasons: for a hug, to tell us something she forgot, or just because she couldn't sleep. We put a nightlight in her room, but it was keeping her awake. One night I stayed in her room extra long for more cuddles and left her door cracked.

On Monday I gathered some verses in Scripture about fear and discussed them with Rebekah. The main verse we focused on is Psalm 56:3-4 which says, "When I am afraid I will trust in You. In God whose Word I praise. In God I will trust." I remembered Ryan's and Ginny's son Andrew singing on Ryan's blog and found it online to download. It comes straight from this passage of Scripture, and the song has been wonderful for giving Rebekah peace. I also discussed with Rebekah the verses that say, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God" and "Cast your cares on Him, for He cares for you." We talked about God being with her all the time, and that He is watching over and protecting her. We have had little problems since. We do crack the door to let a little light in the room, but she feels much more secure since we have been focusing on the Scripture passages dealing with fear.

Another great thing is that in AWANA Cubbies last week's verse was, "I trust in You, O Lord." What a great verse to tie in with Psalm 56! This week's verse for Cubbies is "Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Lord." I found a song of it from the same collection as the other song. It is from Steve Green's "Hide 'Em In Your Heart" collection. Along with this Rebekah learned Michael W. Smith's version of "Hosanna" and had her Bible verse memorized in one day!

A Proud Mommy Moment

As a mom who is trying to teach my children to do the right thing because it pleases the Lord I never know how much is sinking into their little brains and how much they are understanding and retaining. With Joshua it's more of just correcting behavior, but with Rebekah I'm really trying to get to her heart. I know she is picking up some things because she will repeat them in discussions, but actions do really speak louder than words, and I couldn't be more proud of Rebekah today.

After the kids had lunch Rebekah asked to watch "The Little Einsteins" on TV. I was just sitting to eat lunch and it would be a little while before Joshua would go down for a nap, and he really enjoys this show as well. (He could mostly care less for TV, but he enjoys "The Little Einsteins".) So, I obliged. As the previews were showing I sat down with my lunch at the computer and checked my email. A couple minutes later Rebekah came over to me and informed me that The Little Mermaid was on and that we needed to turn it off. On her own without my even noticing the TV Rebekah had taken all our little talks over the last week or so since the big talk we had and put it into practice and did the right thing. (Mind you, it didn't clear up in just one big talk, but we've had smaller discussions about it daily, and I'm also using a princess unit from Homeschool Share's website that Candace wrote and suggested to me to teach about godly character as well.) I was extremely proud that Rebekah had recognized and remembered that Ariel dressed as a mermaid was inappropriate, and instead of feeding her own desires and watching it anyway she came to me to tell me that it was on and we needed to turn it off.

I told her how proud I was of her, and I told her how much that shows how beautiful she is inside for doing the right thing and pleasing the Lord. Again, I don't know how much is sinking in, but she is getting it, and I'm so proud that she really does want to please the Lord. Many times when she does the wrong thing and she apologizes to us and then to the Lord she will ask, "Does that make God happy?" I nearly got emotional with her today. It was just a really proud mommy moment for me, not that I'm doing anything right with her, but that God is making her heart tender for Himself and using me as a vessel to teach her what His Word says.

A Teachable Moment

When Darrin brought home a DVD copy of "Ariel's Beginnings" I wasn't too sure about it. I didn't push the issue, though, and Rebekah loves Disney princess. Lately, Rebekah's favorite princess has changed from Cinderella to Ariel, and in the most recent days Rebekah has either not wanted to get dressed after taking off her pajamas or she has stripped down to her panties once we arrived home after being out that day. Just last night Rebekah fought putting on her pajamas for bed, and it was COLD last night!

Darrin and I knew this acting out had to do with the way Ariel is dressed (or not dressed), so we decided the movie as well as the images of the character, such as coloring pages and clothing, would need to be removed from our home. I spent time in prayer last night and this morning as to how I would approach the subject with Rebekah and that she would be receptive to what I had to share.

So, first thing this morning I told Rebekah I had something really important to share with her. She was in a bit of a sour mood, but she enjoys our devotionals and agreed to do one from her book. Yesterday's devotional was about learning to read God's Word, so we reviewed it, and I asked Rebekah who wrote the Bible? Rebekah told me God did, and I read to her what God says in I Timothy 2:9a.

"Likewise, I want women (and I added that this meant girls, too, and made it personal to include Rebekah, all the while Rebekah named a few of her friends) to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly..."

We discussed what this meant and how we are to dress, and I asked Rebekah if she knew of anybody who does not dress how God would have them to dress. She immediately mentioned Ariel. We talked about how that does not please the Lord. We also discussed Jasmine's attire because Rebekah thought that she was okay since she wears clothes, but because her belly button shows she does not dress appropriately either. I talked to Rebekah about how she needs to keep her clothes on at home as well as that we need to get rid of the two princesses who are not dressed modestly. Rebekah had a hard time at first accepting this. She didn't want to get rid of her Ariel DVD especially, and it hurt me a lot to see her heartbroken. I cried with her. But as the day has gone on Rebekah has helped me to discard the images of Ariel as a mermaid (I've allowed the pictures of Ariel dressed modestly to stay) and of Jasmine. I am extremely proud of the way she has handled it, and I think still having some princesses who wear more appropriate clothing to still enjoy has helped a lot.

It seems like parenting is changing all the time as our children grow, but I wouldn't trade these opportunities to share about the Lord for anything. I want Rebekah to desire to please the Lord in her behavior, attitude, and her life, and I hope and pray that these teachable moments will one day draw her to the Lord and give her life over to Him.

A New First

Every once in a while Rebekah likes to wear bandages with the Little Einsteins characters on them. They have a clear background to them so that they resemble washable tatoos. This morning Rebekah brought a couple of the bandages and asked me if she could wear them. I had decided not to let her wear them this time because I didn't want them wasted. When I told Rebekah "no", she immediately went to Darrin and asked him the same thing. Of course, I had to follow her to let Darrin know what I had just said. I should have immediately confronted Rebekah about what she was doing, but I didn't.

A few minutes later Rebekah came to me with her bandages and told me, "Daddy said, 'yes'." Rebekah told her first lie. I knew it would come one day, but I really hoped it wouldn't. I talked to Rebekah about lying and what God says about lying. I also told her that when Daddy or I say "no" she is not to go to the other parent and ask. Boy, parenting gets harder as children get older and understand more and more.