Grandma's Funeral

We're home from Huntsville. We arrived Grandpa's house in time to visit with the family some prior to the visitation on Friday evening. At the visitation the kids were all over the place. They just wanted to run around and have fun. In fact, Rebekah told me later that she had so much fun that night. It was a challenge to keep the kids contained, so Darrin walked with them in the lobby some to burn a little energy.

It was really good to hang out with the family, though. I met a few people whom I did not know, but I also got to see my mom's cousin Charita and her husband Buddy whom we haven't seen in a long time. It seemed like I didn't really visit much with the visitors, though, because I was helping Darrin watch the kids so closely.

Grandpa had a closed casket. A couple of pictures were displayed next to the flowers, and Uncle Alan did a couple of photo displays which included my latest blog entry of memories about Grandma. The pictures ranged from a baby picture all the way to January of her holding Rebekah.

Since the kids were already tired, and we were running on central time instead of eastern time, we decided to head back to the motel a little early. The kids didn't settle down to sleep until 10:15 or so our time. It was a bit rough, but we made it okay. It's just challenging all sleeping in the same room together with the kids being so young.

Saturday morning was the funeral. Grandpa's pastor (they recently had joined another church closer to home so they could attend Sunday mornings) performed the ceremony and did a lovely job. Their minister of music, who was very young I might add, sang several hymns. He is extremely talented, and he did an amazing job. He is classically trained, and he has a phenomenol voice. Carrie and I would have sung, but it ended up being better that we didn't because we had our children to keep entertained and quiet.

Following the funeral and burial service we went over to the wall where Grandma's body was buried and then we headed over to Grandpa's house for lunch. Some lady friends had prepared us lunch. What a blessing that was! It was so nice just to be around the family and enjoy each other's company, although Joshua was always trying to get out the door to make a getaway. We stayed for a good while before we left to come home.

One thing that really touched me so much was that my parents' Bible fellowship (i.e. Sunday school) teacher and a staff member and his wife (he did our wedding) came all the way to either the visitation or the funeral. I still choke up when I think about that. It was sacrificial for them to travel two hours, but they did it anyway.

Now I am just really tired. I know the grieving is not over. Little things set me off to crying some, and it will continue for a while. It just seems all surreal that Grandma is not here anymore.

Grandma's Obituary

Betty Lou Taylor
Feb. 16, 1925 - March 11, 2009

Betty Lou Taylor, 84, of Huntsville passed away Wednesday.
She loved the Lord, her family and many friends. She helped HIV patients, taught English to internationals, and taught at Grissom High School for a few years. She was a talented pianist. She took joy in gardening and traveling across the country with her husband.
Survivors include her husband, Donald Taylor; children, Richard Taylor, Curtis Taylor, and Jeanine Taylor Wright; six grandchildren; one step-granddaughter; three great-grandchildren; two step-great-grandchildren; two great-grandchildren on the way; sister, Jane Stites; and several nieces and nephews.
Visitation will be from 6 to 8 p.m. today at Laughlin Service Funeral Home. The funeral service will be at 11 a.m. Saturday at the funeral home chapel with the Rev. Hughey Reynolds officiating. Burial will be in Valhalla Cemetery.
Memorials may be made to the Latham United Methodist Church wheelchair ramp fund.

Here are the flowers I took from the bouquet that was placed on the casket. These depict Grandma so well. Aren't they beautiful?



Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. They are felt throughout our family. Please continue to pray as we work through the grieving process.

Grandma

February 16, 1925 – March 11, 2009

Grandma went Home this morning at the ripe age of 84. As I have been thinking about Grandma I’ve been reflecting on the wonderful memories I had with her.

Grandma always loved trees and flowers. Something was always blooming or growing in her garden. She planted a mixture of perennials and annuals and would pick some to bring in the house for the kitchen table. She planted a variety of vegetables as well and was proud to show off her garden. She knew so much about different trees also. I remember as a girl when she and Grandpa came to visit Grandma and I went for a walk around the neighborhood and she told me about the various trees we would see.

As young girls Carrie and I would visit Grandma and Grandpa during the summer for a week. Sometimes we spent the week at their house. Grandma always made sure I practiced the piano so I didn’t get rusty after a week. It’s funny how I remember things like that. But one of the fun memories I have is that she and Grandpa went square dancing every week. Grandma made their dancing outfits, and they looked fabulous on them! Carrie and I got to tag along with them while they went square dancing. What fun it was to watch them on the dance floor!

When we didn’t stay at their house for the week Grandma and Grandpa took us camping. I have many fond memories of camping not only with just them but with our entire extended family. We used to go every fall as a family, and I always loved being together enjoying each other’s company.

Other memories I have of Grandma are National Geographic Magazine, knitting, cross-word puzzles, playing games, the butterfly garden, and lots of love. Grandma was such an intelligent woman, and she was always learning. She kept her mind active while she could, and she loved teaching me too. She made delicious spaghetti, canned peaches, and applesauce. I had told her that before she died I wanted her to teach me how to make applesauce, but it never happened. Grandma also made some of the best apple pie. It was always a favorite staple in the Taylor family.

One thing I’ve struggled with is where Grandma stood in her relationship with the Lord. Some of her theology was not biblically accurate, and she was not one to talk much about her faith. One time when I visited her I directly asked her about her salvation, and she told me about her experience. While she suffered with fibromyalgia she had written down and underlined some Bible verses that ministered to her. I have to believe that she sought the Lord in her pain and that she was a child of God. And one day I hope to see her in Heaven.

Grandma, I miss you so much! I’m so thankful for the fond memories I have of you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.


P.S. You can read Carrie's post here.

A Big Day

Not a lot has really happened lately...until today. Joshua had his 2-year well check-up with Dr. Rodgers. He looks great and has made great strides despite his difficult start early in life. Dr. Rodgers was really pleased with how he is doing in all areas. His stats are as follows: height - 35 1/2 inches (80th percentile); weight - 28 lbs. (60th percentile); head - 50 cm. Dr. Rodgers predicts that based on my husband's and my heights along with Joshua's present height he will be about 5' 10" as an adult. He also got a finger prick, and he didn't even flinch! In fact, he laughed while the tech drew his blood! I teased and commented that Joshua needs to be the one having babies one day since he tolerates pain so well. His levels were great. (I had forgotten what they were testing.) No shots today, and no more until next year.

After we left the doctor's office we headed over to Chick-fil-A for lunch. I had told Rebekah that they could play after they ate as well. During our meal Rebekah kept wanting to stand up on the bench seat or just be fidgety. I think she was just eager to play. I had told her to sit down, but instead of just sitting she turned to the side facing out from the table. She lost her balance and went forward over the side of the seat, head first to the floor! My first thought was about her scar from the stitches she had previously. I ran over and couldn't find exactly where she was hurt. All she did was scream and flail from the pain. I finally saw a place on her forehead directly across from her scar and just stared to see if it was raised or dented. An elderly woman who saw the event came over to see as well. I couldn't see a raised spot, but it didn't look dented either, so I proceeded to carry Rebekah to the counter to get some ice.

By the time we returned to our table I saw that Rebekah had a scraped place which was what I found initially after the fall, but she also had a light bruise above it. I held ice over the wound, and she just screamed at the chill. The manager came over to assess the situation and to see how he could help. He asked me if the Chick-fil-A cow might help, and I told him it might. I thought he was going to have someone dressed as the cow come visit us, and Rebekah cried that she did NOT want to see the cow. The manager returned with a stuffed toy cow, and Rebekah immediately calmed down. Joshua got one, too. We also got a bag of ice to replace the individual pieces I was holding on her head, and that seemed to be much better as well. After we got our table cleaned up and trash thrown away we headed home. No playing today! Rebekah acted fine the rest of the afternoon. Thankfully, she was okay, but I was afraid we were going to have an additional, and unexpected, visit to see Dr. Rodgers today. Now she has a matching red spot on the opposite side from her scar to balance her forehead. It doesn't look like professional pictures will be made in the near future.

On a completely different note, my Grandma is going downhill very quickly. Nearly a year ago we discovered that she had some form of Parkinson's disease. The doctors are not exactly sure what it is she has, but it is a combination of Parkinson's (Parkinsonism) and Lewy Body dimentia. The last visit we made to see Grandma and Grandpa was in January. It was a blessing to see Grandma respond, and I'm so glad I took the opportunity to reintroduce her to her great-grandchildren before she progressed any worse.

As of now, Grandma is receiving hospice in her home, and she is rapidly declining. She is not eating nor drinking (and is not on life support), and she is on morphine which I would presume is why she is sleeping so much.

At the same time we have plans to visit Darrin's family for the weekend. His sister and her family are visiting Darrin's mom from Virginia, and it has been 1 1/2 years since we have seen them, so we are very much looking forward to our visit with them.

I feel very torn about what to do. On one hand, I feel like I should go visit my grandmother one last time. On the other, I want to respect Darrin and his family and devote as much time with them as I can. If we were to go visit Grandma we would make a detour to Huntsville then drive up to Columbia later tomorrow. One concern I have is how Rebekah would handle seeing Grandma in the state that she is. I just don't know, and I'm not sure what she would think. I have talked to Rebekah about Grandma's condition, but you never know how a child may process all of this.

Please pray for us as we make this decision. My dad's family (brother and sister) as well as my parents are all going to visit my grandparents tomorrow. It might also be too much for us to go as well. I surely don't want to be a burden. Whatever we do I am so thankful that I took the kids in January to visit their great-Grandma. They won't remember much about her, but every good little moment matters.

Now I will leave you with a picture of Grandma and Rebekah from last June.

A Visit with Family

My Grandma has not been doing very well lately. She has something related to Parkinson's, and she appears to be going downhill fairly quickly. I had wanted us to go down to see her and Grandpa right before Christmas, but it worked out really well for us to visit on Saturday instead. My parents have been rotating with my aunt and uncle (Daddy's sister and brother) going every three weeks to help Grandpa take care of Grandma as well as to help out with other household and outdoor chores. Since we went this past Saturday we got to visit while my parents were there, and everyone enjoyed the kids especially.

Darrin had planned to go with us, but he had a lot of work that had to be done before Monday, his first day back from vacation, so he stayed home to get it done while the kids and I were out of the house. I had not driven to Huntsville in a number of years, and although I knew the way I took a couple of detours by mistake. The first was just because I went into "la-la land" and zoned out. I totally missed the MAJOR intersection where I was to turn off the interstate to take the highway. As I began driving up the mountain I started to question myself, "Am I supposed to go over the mountain on the way to Huntsville?" Instead of calling Darrin I kept driving. Once I got over the mountain and to the next city I pulled off realizing that I had gone too far. I checked the map to be sure, and sure enough, I had driven 30 minutes out of the way, so we tacked on an extra hour to our road trip. By this time it was lunchtime. I had a cooler of food for the kids since I knew they wouldn't eat the meal that my mom had prepared for us, so the kids ate while I drove. Joshua fell asleep 30 minutes before our arrival, which was just enough to keep him happy during our visit.

The other detours, going to Huntsville and leaving Huntsville, were very minor and were just because I could't remember exactly where to turn off. At least we got there in time to enjoy the family, and they weren't ready to eat until about the time we got there anyway.

Grandma is not very responsive and she is unable to talk, but she is coherent and tries to express herself in other ways, such as through pointing. I wasn't sure if she remembered Rebekah and Joshua, so I took the time to explain who they were. She seemed to enjoy watching them play.

Prior to our visit I had told Rebekah that Grandma's mind isn't working very well and that she is not able to walk and talk and do many things that Rebekah can do. She told me that she would give her a hug and make her feel better. And that she did. She hugged her several times, and although Grandma was unable to hug her back I know that meant a lot to her.

Once the kids discovered the wheelchair (of course, Joshua did first because it has wheels!) they took turns taking a ride around the house and then a couple laps together.





Joshua and Grandpa really enjoyed each other for a few moments.





Once Joshua got the phone Grandpa told Joshua just not to call France!



Grandma and Grandpa used to go square dancing all the time. Grandma even made their dance outfits. I remember as a kid staying a week with them during the summer and going with them to watch them dance. Although this isn't square dancing here Grandpa is teaching Rebekah the "Jitterbug".





I didn't take any pictures of Grandma because I don't want to remember her in this state. She reminds me a lot of what Mama Bea (my other grandmother) looked like the months before she died. Instead I want to remember Grandma how she was before she was diagnosed with Parkinson's.

Grandma surprised me with two wonderful responses that I was not expecting. After we finished our lunch Grandma was still working on her food. (It takes her about an hour to eat.) Rebekah walked up to Grandma and told her, "Grandma, you need to eat!" Grandma didn't hear her, but when someone repeated it to her she laughed. It was good to see her laugh.

Also, when we left to go home I gave Grandma a hug and kiss and then Rebekah came over and hugged her. Grandma wrapped her arm around Rebekah and held her tight for a long time. Rebekah just hugged her back. It was the sweetest thing!

I know it meant the world to both Grandma and Grandpa that we visited them. I just know I need to make a point to visit them more often.

Father's Day Weekend

Recently my Grandma was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and Louis Body Dimentia. She has her bad days and her good days, and some days she is more coherent than others. I have been wanting to visit while she is able to recognize me and enjoy our family, and we finally got to go on Saturday.

I was not exactly sure what I would find when I saw Grandma. My parents had been filling me in on what to expect, but it's still hard to really know until you are there. Pleasantly, Grandma looked better than I was expecting. She was laying on the couch when we arrived. She needs assistance transitioning from one seat to another and to get in and out of bed, and she is unable to walk, so she uses a wheelchair to get around.

Grandma was quite coherent during our visit, so we were able to have good conversation with her, and she was able to enjoy the children. Rebekah sat in Grandma's lap for several minutes, which is nearly unheard of for her. She is not one to sit still for long unless she is tired, but Rebekah seemed to understand that Grandma needed her, and she cooperated for a few pics.

Rebekah found Grandpa's hat and immediately put it on. She is such a hat fanatic!


I managed to get Joshua interested in standing next to Grandpa, and he sat in Grandpa's lap briefly while playing with a car.



Rebekah asked my dad for a ride in Grandma's wheelchair.


On Sunday we spent Father's Day morning at church then we picked up ribs from Sticky Fingers and took it home to eat. Joshua always falls asleep on the way home from church, so we felt it would be best not to eat out for lunch. We gave Darrin his gifts, and he spent the late afternoon figuring out how to play his new bass fishing game for the Wii. We had a nice restful Sunday afternoon as a family.

And finally, here are a couple cute pics of the kids from last week.